No body likes envy in a long-distance relationship. However when you’re aside from the man you’re dating, that sickening feeling can even sneak into the healthiest of relationships.

You probably don’t want to feel jealous— you’re terrified of becoming that girlfriend — however you can’t just want the feelings away of hurt, sadness and anger.

This is actually the section of long-distance that everybody warned you about, right? They might have now been appropriate about its commonness, but they’re incorrect you it’s hopeless if they told. Jealousy in a long-distance relationship doesn’t need certainly to take over your feelings or ruin your relationship.

How will you cope with envy, then? Let’s plunge appropriate in.

1. Straighten out your emotions

Jealousy in a long-distance relationship rarely exists in vacuum pressure of thoughts.

You may feel upset that the boyfriend does see a problem n’t because of the situation. Perhaps you’re unfortunate that another woman extends to be with him whenever you can’t. Maybe you’re also scared that your particular relationship might end.

Whatever you’re experiencing, devote some time to process your entire feelings before lashing away at the man you’re seeing. It’s feasible that several of your feelings aren’t also associated with the problem. They’re simply spilling over from something different, plus they have to be addressed individually.

You’re feeling, you’ll have to evaluate if your jealousy is justified after you’ve determined exactly what. Are you currently responding rightly or overreacting?

This is tough to figure out whenever you’re relationship. You have actuallyn’t exchanged vows yet, therefore you’re maybe perhaps not bound to one another forever. During the exact same time, however, many people would say there’s an unspoken contract to be faithful to one another so long as you’re relationship.

One good way to pursue knowledge about this topic is through praying the language of Psalm 139:23-24: “Search me personally, Jesus, and understand my heart; test me personally and understand my thoughts that are anxious. See when there is any unpleasant means in me personally, and lead me personally in the manner everlasting.”

2. Think about your boyfriend’s perspective

The man you’re seeing may maybe maybe perhaps not realize why you’re upset. About it yet, he might not even be aware that there’s a problem if you haven’t talked. These circumstances can feel just like a straight much deeper betrayal. Exactly exactly How could he perhaps perhaps not know?

But, be aware before presuming your boyfriend’s motives or his lack of knowledge. He most likely wasn’t attempting to harm you. He additionally probably is not an idiot, therefore make him out don’t become one.

I believe Philippians 2:4 supplies a helpful exhortation: “Let every one of you look not just to their own passions, but in addition into the passions of other people.”

Therefore, what exactly are your boyfriend’s interests?

First, you are wanted by him to be controlled by him with respect. Hurling accusations that are angry providing him the opportunity to explain is not respectful or type.

The situation may not even be his fault in some cases. Another woman might have placed him in a hard place. That does not make him innocent, but inaddition it does not guarantee his shame.

Second, he desires your trust. Should your boyfriend really cares about yourself, he does not wish you to be jealous. Has the man you’re seeing provided you just about any explanation to doubt which he cares in regards to you? Keep in mind their character in hard times similar to this.

Having said that, if he’s hoping to get your attention by simply making you jealous, he doesn’t truly worry about you. It’s a very important factor to attract boundaries that are healthy however it’s another to govern someone’s emotions and lure her to sin.

Playing “hard getting” is actually a decision manufactured in fear, and also as 1 John 4:18 declares, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”

3. Talk to him

As soon as you’ve sorted down your emotions and considered their viewpoint, consult with the man you’re dating.

You’ll desire to go into the discussion thoughtfully. Harsh, rushed terms may feel satisfying to start with, but they’re perhaps perhaps not likely to re re solve your relationship issues (Proverbs 15:1). In fact, they’ll probably cause them to become even worse.

Regarding the other hand, don’t be worried about the end result and longer delay the conversation than necessary. Provide your anxieties to your Lord (Philippians 4:6) and inquire him to steer the discussion.